The Cube Rule: Classifying Food Beyond Taste

What Exactly is The Cube Rule?

Ever found yourself in a spirited debate about the true nature of a burrito? Is it a sandwich? A wrap? Perhaps something else entirely? You’re not alone. The world of culinary classification is often a messy and subjective place. Enter the Cube Rule, a delightfully absurd yet surprisingly insightful system for categorizing food based on its structural integrity and the presence of bread. Forget meticulous ingredient lists and complex flavor profiles; the Cube Rule focuses on one simple question: how many sides of your food are bread?

This article will delve into the surprisingly nuanced world of the Cube Rule, exploring its different classifications, offering mouthwatering examples, and considering its merits and inevitable limitations. Prepare to have your culinary perceptions challenged and, hopefully, a good laugh along the way.

The Cube Rule, in its simplest form, is a humorous classification system that assigns food items to categories based on the number of bread-like sides they possess. Originating from the depths of the internet (often attributed to a tweet or online forum), it quickly gained traction because it taps into our shared experience of arguing about food. It’s a playful way to analyze the structure of food and spark debate, all while avoiding any serious culinary expertise. While not to be taken as gospel, the cube rule of foods offers a fun new way to think about how we eat and the relationship that food has to bread.

Think of it this way: each category represents a different state of enclosure, with bread acting as the primary structural element. The beauty of the cube rule lies in its simplicity. It boils down complex culinary creations into readily understood visual representations, opening the door for endless speculation, friendly arguments, and the occasional existential crisis about the true nature of a hot dog. It gives you new perspective when asking what do i want to eat.

A Tour of The Classifications

Let’s take a delicious journey through the different categories defined by the Cube Rule.

Toast

The foundation of the entire system. A “toast” is defined as having bread on one side only. The quintessential example is, of course, a slice of toast. Think of open-faced sandwiches, bruschetta, or even a piece of garlic bread. A slice of pizza also easily fits the “toast” category. It’s all about that single, exposed bread base.

Sandwich

The classic. A “sandwich” has bread on two sides, essentially enclosing the filling between two layers. This covers a vast array of culinary delights, from the simple turkey and swiss on rye to elaborate club sandwiches. Even sliders and many panini variations would fall under the sandwich umbrella. The cube rule for sandwiches is well-defined and rarely disputed.

Taco

Here’s where things get interesting. A “taco,” according to the Cube Rule, has bread folded around the filling, with a connection on one side. This category is broader than you might initially think. Tacos themselves are the obvious example, but burritos, gyros, and even pita bread filled with hummus could be considered tacos. The key is the fold that connects the bread and encloses the filling.

Quiche

The forgotten pastry. These delicious foods are defined by bread on the top and bottom of the dish, however, all sides of the dish are exposed. Think hot pockets or uncrustables.

Calzone

These tasty dishes only have one side that is not completely wrapped in bread. This is what separates it from lasagna. Pop tarts, and pirozhki both easily fit the definition for this tasty category of foods.

Sushi

Not to be confused with raw fish. These dishes are only open on two sides, making it easier to keep the fillings intact. Cannelloni and manicotti fit this definition.

Wrap

Wraps are known to hold a lot of fillings. This is made possible by the only being open on one side. Dumplings, steamed buns and pelmeni fit this rule of foods.

Lasagna

Lasagna is the most enclosed dish, and is breaded on all six sides. The best examples of this food are ravioli, pierogi, and tamales.

The Great Debates: Navigating the Murky Waters

While the Cube Rule is a fun and seemingly straightforward system, it’s not without its controversies. Certain foods exist in a grey area, sparking fierce debates among Cube Rule enthusiasts.

The quesadilla, for instance, often provokes heated arguments. Is it a sandwich, since it has two tortillas? Or is it a taco, because it’s folded? The answer often depends on the specific preparation and how strictly you interpret the “folded” rule. A tightly sealed quesadilla might lean towards sandwich territory, while one with a more open fold could be considered a taco.

Another point of contention arises with wraps. Some argue that a tightly rolled wrap with completely sealed ends could be considered a calzone. The key factor is whether the ends are genuinely sealed, preventing the filling from escaping.

The cube rule has similar issues to the question of whether cereal is soup. What if soup has bread in it? When does the bread become more important than the liquid? These questions can have no answers and are entirely subjective.

Why We Love (and Sometimes Hate) The Cube Rule

The Cube Rule’s enduring appeal stems from several factors. First and foremost, it’s undeniably humorous. The absurdity of applying a rigid classification system to something as subjective as food is inherently funny. It also thrives on relatability. Most people have, at some point, engaged in a lighthearted debate about the nature of a particular food. The Cube Rule provides a framework for these discussions, turning them into playful intellectual exercises.

Furthermore, the cube rule is simple. You don’t need a culinary degree to understand the basic principles. Anyone can participate, making it a universally accessible topic. It encourages us to think about food in a new and unconventional way, challenging our preconceived notions and sparking creativity.

However, the Cube Rule isn’t without its limitations. Its primary flaw is its oversimplification of food. By focusing solely on the bread structure, it ignores the vast complexity of ingredients, flavors, and cooking techniques that make each dish unique. A gourmet sandwich with artisanal bread and exotic fillings is ultimately classified the same way as a basic peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Subjectivity also plays a significant role. The interpretation of the rules can vary, leading to disagreements and inconsistencies. What constitutes a “fold”? How tightly sealed does a wrap need to be? These are open to interpretation, undermining the objectivity of the system.

Finally, the Cube Rule’s focus on bread neglects other crucial aspects of food. Many delicious dishes don’t involve bread at all, rendering them entirely outside the scope of the system. A stir-fry, a salad, or a bowl of pho simply cannot be classified using the Cube Rule.

The Bread of the Matter

The Cube Rule offers a lighthearted and thought-provoking way to categorize food based on its structural relationship to bread. While its classifications can lead to endless debates about burritos, quesadillas, and other edible enigmas, it provides a humorous lens through which we can examine our culinary landscape. The cube rule of foods is not about providing strict and unwavering guidance to categorizing foods but allowing you to broaden your horizons when choosing which foods you like best.

Despite its limitations, it thrives on its relatability, making it a fun topic to discuss with friends and family. Now, the ultimate question is: is a pizza a toast or a pie?